It’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad World

Me in the spotlight

I am, admittedly, somewhat scatter brained.

One of my stock responses is; “It wasn’t me”. This gives me the time to assess what’s involved regarding the accusation.

I have several nasty friends so, when the wife of one of them, accused me of, essentially, stalking, my response of; “It wasn’t me” seemed to ring hollow.

This accusation rapidly became a serious problem. Her story of my Range Rover being parked in an adjacent street at odd times, of it being seen with someone in it looking at her, made me look like a psycho.

Now, let’s make this clear. I never had the remotest interest in this woman. She, like most of my friend’s wives, merely tolerate me because they see me as trouble. They’re right of course.

The more I tried to explain this away; “I’ve never been near Nottingham in several years”, “I’m sure I was in London in April”. The more guilty I appeared.

I was relating this to another friend when he said; “You got rid of that Range Rover years ago”.

It never even dawned on me. She’d even quoted the licence plate for a vehicle I’d not owned in years.

Shortly thereafter she was inside a nut house. All too briefly, in my opinion.

I have a hard-enough time dealing with real accusations let alone fantasy ones.


I had a huge argument with a woman once over what I had done to her in a dream. A fucking dream.

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