Mind your language

Marie’s maniacal father Angus is out on bail awaiting his court appearance for punching: me, a waiter, a barman and a member of the West Midlands Police Service – in that order.

He’s not actually facing charges relating to me because no-one gives a shit about me. And, of the four, I was the only one he knocked out.

Said mad twat ‘phoned his beloved daughter and, as I was gliding past, she said: “Sywwow wants to speak to you” and handed me the ‘phone.

Why do women do that? I didn’t want to speak to him at all. On the list of people I don’t want to speak to, he’s about number seven.

Ay, there be places north of Aberdeen you’d fear to tread. It’s a wild, lonely, desolate place. There be talk of monsters from ancient times that devour the sheep and shit on the heather. Ye best takes some bagpipes if ye ever venture there, me lad


It transpires, Marie’s magnificent mother Moira has told Angry Angus about my site. Well, it was all downhill from there.

I’ll try and spell this as best I can. Apparently, I am: “A Peely Walley Sassenach”. I am in need of: “A good heed kickin ya English ponce”. Additionally, I am “an edyit, a cant and a wee shite”.

Was this tirade about Marie’s magnificent mother Moira’s marvellous ass appearing on this site? No.
Was this tirade about Marie’s magnificent mother Moira and I spending the night together? No.
Was this tirade about who and what I am? No.

He says he can’t understand a word of the site because it’s not in Gaelic. Yeah, right.

He noticed the language selector; “Ye got Dutch ye Engleesh cant. What fuckin use is Dutch ye racist bastard?”

I checked, he’s right.

Ergo, today I have added Scottish Gaelic to the list of languages available.

Coimhead na tha mi air a dhèanamh gus do thàladh. Bha thu a ’creachadh amadan Albannach. A-nis faodaidh tu seo a leughadh an àite dìreach a bhith a ’tachdadh aig tits agus, is dòcha gun cuir mi ris, botail iongantach. Aon ann an particluar.
I used Google translate for the above. When I translated it back it didn’t say what I said, in the slightest.

This Post Has 2 Comments

    1. SYWWOW

      According to Yandex I said, in Gaelic: “Look what I have done to to attract. From the creachadh amadan Scottish. Now you can choose to read in places just to be tachdadh at tits and, might I add, with, interior amazing. One in particluar.

      Google translate is better: “Look what I have done to attract you. You were raiding a Scottish fool. Now you can read this instead of just choking at tits and, I might add, amazing bottles. One in particluar”.

      “Bottle” means bottom/ass
      “One in particular” means Marie’s Magnificent Mother Moira.

      Ergo, no tits in particlular but, rather, a particular ass: Marie’s Magnificent Mother Moira’s ass.

      Incidentally, Angus says it’s not her ass:
      Tha Aonghas na twat Albannach breugach le bean le bonn grinn.
      (Angus is a lying scottish twat with a wife with a gorgeous ass}.

      Your ass rules supreme, of course.

      Click here to see Marie’s Magnificent Mother Moira’s ass.

      Also, are you not concerned as to my welfare having been knocked out by this Scotch Git (twice) – I may have concussion

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