Marie’s maniacal father Angus is out on bail awaiting his court appearance for punching: me, a waiter, a barman and a member of the West Midlands Police Service – in that order.
He’s not actually facing charges relating to me because no-one gives a shit about me. And, of the four, I was the only one he knocked out.
Said mad twat ‘phoned his beloved daughter and, as I was gliding past, she said: “Sywwow wants to speak to you” and handed me the ‘phone.
Why do women do that? I didn’t want to speak to him at all. On the list of people I don’t want to speak to, he’s about number seven.
It transpires, Marie’s magnificent mother Moira has told Angry Angus about my site. Well, it was all downhill from there.
I’ll try and spell this as best I can. Apparently, I am: “A Peely Walley Sassenach”. I am in need of: “A good heed kickin ya English ponce”. Additionally, I am “an edyit, a cant and a wee shite”.
Was this tirade about Marie’s magnificent mother Moira’s marvellous ass appearing on this site? No.
Was this tirade about Marie’s magnificent mother Moira and I spending the night together? No.
Was this tirade about who and what I am? No.
He says he can’t understand a word of the site because it’s not in Gaelic. Yeah, right.
He noticed the language selector; “Ye got Dutch ye Engleesh cant. What fuckin use is Dutch ye racist bastard?”
I checked, he’s right.
Ergo, today I have added Scottish Gaelic to the list of languages available.
Coimhead na tha mi air a dhèanamh gus do thàladh. Bha thu a ’creachadh amadan Albannach. A-nis faodaidh tu seo a leughadh an àite dìreach a bhith a ’tachdadh aig tits agus, is dòcha gun cuir mi ris, botail iongantach. Aon ann an particluar.
I used Google translate for the above. When I translated it back it didn’t say what I said, in the slightest.