If I was as great as I purport to be, I would be sat in my solid gold house on my own private island.

My ‘greatness’ is a comedic device. It is the same device used by Ricky Gervais, Tony Hancock, Oliver Hardy and countless others back to the time of the ancient Greeks.

The comedic aspect lies in the reveal or where everyone, bar the great man, sees through the façade.

The one time this blew up in my face was at a Convention where I was a guest along with a long list of famous individuals. Obviously, I was at the bottom of the list.

All was going well until I used my ‘I’m great’ routine in earshot of a well-known actress – (well known in Sci-fi). She went for me like a pit-bull. She would not let it go with incessant variations of “You may think you’re great. Let me tell you: You are not. Look everyone, here’s someone who says he’s great but let ME tell you – he is NOT”.

I was trapped at this bloody convention all week-end.

Because of who she was, all of the other guest took against me – bar one*.

It was because of her that I stopped doing Conventions – it affected me that much.

I never lost my audience who enjoyed my appearances because they, unlike her, had the brains to see me for who I am.

What brings this to mind is, this vile creature, has croaked. (Don’t go looking at Wikipedia to see who’s dead: I don’t live my life in the same order as you do).

It is rare to encounter people like this. They have a rotten soul. This is why there is no explanation for what they do and it is impossible to deal with them. This probably explains why her career never advanced from the eye candy roles she had as a young actress.

I believe it is now safe for me to return to Conventions. However, my greatness dictates I shall be far higher up the list this time ‘round.

As a post script, in case you think I’m the twat in all this. I had the exact opposite experience at a previous Convention. Again, what I’ve said about eye candy could apply to this individual. However, she was delightful with a happy hopeful soul. She wanted me to go back with her to Hollywood – I bloody wish I had now.

*WT was an actor. He had every sympathy as he’d undergone something very similar with, Hollywood Star, GD

Leave a Reply