Woman gets stuck to door, somehow

If you’re a husband and you come home and find me there it is incumbent on you to avoid jumping to illogical conclusions as to what’s go on.

It peeves me that common sense is the first casualty and I end up having to explain things which are self-evident.

Husbands, stop jumping to conclusions.

She was like that when I found her. I came to rescue her from whatever she was doing. That’s not spunk on her tits it’s candle wax. She was wearing the eye shields because of the light on my video camera which is set to max and won’t adjust

I didn’t even realize she was naked. Her clothes caught fire which is why I pissed on her.

I don’t know how she got tied to the door. But, it happens all the time with Tarts – you can’t trust them to do fuck all. She was probably trying to fix that squeak that’s been there for months. She should have used WD40. I bought her a can but we used it up her arse. And, I always carry a riding crop – because I ride horses, ffs

She’s not talking because there’s something in her gob. Why doesn’t she just swallow it? There’s no need to show me first – given the circumstances

Wearing no clothes means her tits could suddenly move and poke you in the eye – hence the tit securing chain. It’s bloody health & safety, ffs

The dog was a bystander and that butt plug was to stop her doing a poo – do not take that butt plug out

Leave a Reply