Blondes and their problems

Blondes have a particular set of needs & problems applicable only to them. It is the way of things.

Whom can these Tarts turn to for advice? There’s only one person really: ME. If there was a degree in Blondes: I’d have one and probably be a Professor of Blondes or a lecturer in a lesser known and not much respected University such as Oxford.

A particular source of concern to Blondes is the intake of protein. A good source of protein is a banana but Blondes have other uses for them and don’t generally eat them. This feline behaviour is akin to many cats with a mouse or other small rodent.

A banana


They do consume a large quantity of sperm in the belief this provides protein and helps with their gorgeous figures as part of a calorie-controlled diet.

There are points to consider: Sperm only contains about 250 mg of protein per load whilst a banana has about a thousand. Spunk is less than a calorie whilst a banana is as high as 90.

Ergo, the Blondes are right and wrong simultaneously.

It could be argued that mixing a banana with sperm would be the ideal solution but this leaves the matter of masturbation out of the equation.

What is the answer to this conundrum? Fuck knows.

Until or unless I solve this problem my advice to blondes is to continue wanking yourselves off with bananas and consume as much sperm as possible.

A spoon with Horlicks written on it


Incidentally, my Jizz has extra protein (circa 450mg) and is less than, less than, a calorie. It also; “Tastes fucking great”. No other spunk possesses these attributes or flavour. None. Samples are available on request or, in person, I will extract some, post-coital, with a special spoon I own and feed you it – it’s no trouble for me and I’m pleased to help.

If you don’t own a blonde: here’s how to catch one using, guess what?

This recent advert for bananas illustrates the issue at hand


In addition to Blondes I know all about Brunettes, black-haired Tarts and Red Heads. Red heads are of particular interest to me and a ‘speciality’, if you will

You should try a banana shake


Another banana

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