The cupboard no-one goes in

Tesco are a bunch of twats – everyone knows that.

I had to go there in order to provoke a fight with the morons who are quite at home bullying solitary tarts but much less so, it would seem, me.

In order to go the ‘wrong way’ down their aisles and other assorted serious crimes I ended up in some right strange places and randomly picked stuff so as to ensure I contravened the ’10 items or less’ law.

Exiting uneventfully, I was annoyed my advice had been ignored. My advice to any Tart out there when confronted by some jerk shouting at you for joining a non-existent queue without standing behind an imaginary line is to say; “Go and fuck yourself and die”. What will they do? Nothing. They are pathetic cunts – as proved by my visit.

Returning home, I was derided for the crap I’d bought. For example, Coconut Milk. What sort of idiot would buy Coconut Milk? It sounds made up to me.

Marie normally doesn’t get involved in these “Sywwow is a twat” fests but joined in with gay aplomb selecting, I remember, some condoms saying “what fucking use are these you cretin”. She’s been belligerent, moody & sulky for a while now. It’s like having another me around.

And, she’s got a cheek talking about buying unnecessary things. I’m not the idiot who bought a load of Pampers and hid them in that cupboard no-one goes in.

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