I Cure Sea-Sickness

Sea-Sickness is an affliction affecting ladies. Only ladies (not men, real men anyway).

It’s all something to do with the large pockets of air in their brains which make balance an issue. I know all about this sort of stuff because I’m a doctor (Gynaecology only. And Breasts). I’m also a psychiatrist but let’s not get into all that madness.

I was determined that, on my watch, Tarts should not have to endure this maritime ordeal. Ergo, I figured out a cure:

This was my first choice as an assistant for this ground-breaking article. However, just look at her. She claims she’s over 18. More like 17 and a half. Being a responsible person who also doesn’t want to void his insurance, especially after the time I holed that tourist boat… Anyway, I gave her my trousers (what need of I for pants?) and sent her home with orders not to dawdle, buy sweets or go near the youth club where those rough boys hang about smoking & swearing.


It should be noted, sea-sickness is a form of motion-sickness. This means my guide is also applicable for car, bus & train journeys and whilst sitting on the sofa watching some stupid film about kissing and horses.


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