About Me Too
My egotism & megalomania has led me to constantly change my Imagefap profile [About Me].
The historic ‘About Me‘ pages are being lost in time, like tears in the rain.
My megalomania & egotism can’t cope with this. Ergo, I will rescue them for posterity by placing them here.
I won’t simply copy them over; I’ll had a picture here and there.
And, to spice thing up, I’ll drop in a juicy fact – every time.
One day, who knows when, the About Me will be 100% true…
Shit, did you feel that? Deja Vu.
[Most recent first]
About Me [take your pick]
From the dizzying heights to the terrifying lows I have explored the entire range of human activity on this little-known planet orbiting a rather insignificant sun in a solar system which is one of many in this universe where me have made our home.
I have glimpsed what came before and what is yet to be.
I am a tortured genius whose mind is a chaos of ideas, plans & stories of wonder.
My pen is one of many weapons I surround myself with. Yet, here, I use it to entertain.
I am one of the few left that can see. I do not squander this – I am exploring.
Explore with me and maybe you can see too.
Does Sywwow serve?
DOES SYWWOW SERVE?
I carry twenty-three great wounds, all got in war.
Seventy-five men have I killed with my own hands in battle.
I scatter, I burn my enemies’ tents.
I take away their flocks and herds.
The Americans pay me a golden treasure, yet I am poor.
Because, I am a river to my people.
So, it was written.
In your mind, he’s always been there.
He’s handsome, great looking with a touch of the pretty, urbane, sophisticated.
All your friends want him. He charms them. They are jealous of you. They can’t have him: He worships only you.
He satisfies you like no-one else ever could. You never even ask, he just knows.
There is a danger about him. He’s done things. Only you can keep him in check – you do this, just by being you.
You are the luckiest girl ever.
Your heart flutters thinking of him.
He is perfect.
He is your dream man.
I AM THAT DREAM MAN.
Now, fuck off and leave me alone.
I’m not like other guys who bang on about how great they are in their ‘about me’.
It goes without saying that I’m fucking great.
I’d rather concentrate on all the good things I do for society and the world in general, in the hope I’ll impress some tart, any tart.
Nothing comes to mind, unfortunately.
Wait, yes: what a wonderful thing that was I did. No, sorry, that was my brother.
I did donate some money to some charity. No, sorry, that was actually a bar and I got some drinks in exchange.
I was born in Corbridge.
Did I tell you how great I am? In case I didn’t: I’m fucking great.
People who don’t know me don’t, usually, slag me off.
I like puppies.
Mothers like me: randy tarts.
I think I’ll leave it there.
I’m probably well known to many of you as the author of works on the Roman Empire and The Gods of Rome and ancient Greece.
My research has become a much discussed subject in academia, For example, my report on the link betwixt not swallowing sperm and the melting of glaciers has received limited media coverage.
My latest project examining the beneficial effects of facials has already had an unexpected off-shoot of revealing the advantageous effects cum has on female hair. This discovery is set to make a splash and alter the entire hair product market.
On Imagefap, I primarily write smutty captions on pictures of tarts. Additionally, I do stuff about my favourite sporting activity: Spanking.
If you email me naked pictures please use “Look at this first‘ in the subject line.
Lord Sywwow, Lord of Corbridge and The Border Reivers