I am desperate…

Due to the corona measures that are being taken all over the world, I cannot travel to England in the coming period. And that’s where my problem begins.

In the past, I have been honored to receive the cane and whip from our esteemed Lord Sywwow on my craving buttocks several times.
He treated me as he should and kept going until my ass showed red welts. It gave me so much pleasure that I often had squirting orgasms.

Here in the low countries on the North Sea I have tried to find an equivalent for good spanking, but so far I have not yet found a suitable man or woman to enjoy the same pleasure.

This is a cry for help to the well-behaved Lord Sywwow.
Dearest Lord, you may know a solution to this problem.
I also have a lot of horny girlfriends who want to undergo the same.

To illustrate, I hereby send you a picture of my virgin (and divine) buttocks in the hope that a solution to this major problem will be found soon.

Was signed.

Continue Reading I am desperate…

A good deed…

It will have been about three years ago that I visited the Belgian city of Bruges with a couple of friends. Believe me, we had a lot of fun. At some point I met an older man. I didn’t recognize him immediately, but he did recognize me. Because who doesn’t recognize me. He remembered me from when I was an escort and had gone out with me a few times. We started talking on the street and wanted to know if my cunt was as good as it was then. I gave him a favor and lifted my skirt. Without hesitation he put his hand between my legs and with a big smile he confirmed that my pussy was just as good as it was then. I am such a sweetheart, I did another good deed and satisfied an older man.

Continue Reading A good deed…

My dear lord

In response to your call about the feeling of a statue on the fourth plinth, I also contacted my good friend Banksy, who regularly shared the bed with me, and asked him about a proposal to fill the pedestal with a more appropriate statue , one of grand allure.
Attached his suggestion …

Continue Reading My dear lord

New Arrival

Enjoy even more of this lovely inflatable slut, shaped after the body of our own Dame Beatrice.
Lord Sywwow tested her tits and felt they were okay.

Continue Reading New Arrival

Silicone cunt Lady Andrea S.

New in our assortment.
Exact replica of the pussy of our whore Lady Andrea S.
Comes with lubricant for increased pleasure.
The pussy is equipped with a container with a heating element for liquid so that you can make her squirt at any time with a remote control.
Be quick because the circulation is limited.
The first ten buyers will also receive a poster signed by the slut and one of her pee stained panties.

Continue Reading Silicone cunt Lady Andrea S.


Moronic slack about a classic Triumph Spitfire. Everyone knows the difference between a Spitfire and a GT6. Just look at the hood. That of the Spitfire is smooth, that of the GT6 has a hideous hump from front to back.

In the article that Lord Sywwow posted, but he says it was me who posted the story on the site, there is indeed no Spritfire.
Just look at the ugly hump on the ugly red freak. It is a GT6.

My divine car is really an original Triumph Spitfire …


Continue Reading Moronic…

I hate red…

I know absolutely nothing about the production of a brochure about a car that seems to have the name Triumph Spitfire.
And certainly not if it is the color of a red Ferrari.
I hate red cars because they remind me of tomatoes and strawberries that I prefer to turn into pulp with my stilettos.

Continue Reading I hate red…

F*** Adele

I think I should let this new message sink in for a while to come to my senses again.
A good friend once told me never to respond from my emotions but from my common sense. Who the fuck is Reed Carol and who the fuck is Adele.
I know, Kate and I weren’t always on good terms, but I think that chapter has come to an end. I think I’m going to conspire with Kate and will appeal to all of my bisexual traits to get right with her again.

Continue Reading F*** Adele

Wedding day…

Sunday June 14 would have been my wedding day.
But the Covid-19 virus and the Corona lockdown have thrown a spanner in the works. It has now been postponed to next year.
For fun, I recently tried on some wedding dresses.
Mistake … I can’t get married in white at all.
I am no longer a virgin. since I was sixteen.
But, we have had fun …

Continue Reading Wedding day…

Editorial rats

After the email I received earlier today, I just received an envelope from a courier service containing a copy of the dreaded Sun.
A publication that I had not yet seen, because usually these tabloids disappear right under the ass of my benevolent shitting and pissing cat.
Again, the editorial rats manipulated and mutilated the news.
This will not benefit me, my dear friend Jane and the production of the outstanding movie.
I think the two people behind this are familiar to me.
And I do not want to mention the names of a certain Lord and someone who claims to be my mother, whom I now also start to doubt about.

Click on to read the entire article those rats produced…

Continue Reading Editorial rats

Totally confused

Today I received a photo of LidiE on her estate by email.
In itself it is not so strange, she lives there and is often spotted.
The mail came from an unknown sender and there was a second message.
I shouldn’t be surprised if I would hear more about this photo soon.
And it would have to do not only with LidiE but also with me.
I am completely confused now. Is this a threatening email from a disgruntled fan or should I expect more.
I think I’ll take a good whiskey to forget it all.

Continue Reading Totally confused

Re your review

I am a tart, as you always call us, without any shame, on your website. And like all other tarts, I am equipped with a pair of deliciously flaunted tits with, as icing on the cake, two extremely sensitive and playable nipples.
In your last product review, you described the STANLEY FMHT0-74884 Fatmax Locking Mole Grip 250mm Straight Jaw Pliers, Black, as the ultimate tool to crush and infest our nipples and labia.
Looking at the dreaded device, I saw that the beak of the dangerous-looking weapon had sharp ridges.
Now I am not against receiving a little pain on the sensitive parts of my body or applying it to another tarts.
My suggestion is to adjust the beak with a few rubber pads to minimize serious damage to our valuable body parts.

A second proposal is to attach a trouser hanger to the tits. These are fitted with plastic or rubber patches on the clamps. A nice detail is that you can also hang weights or containers with water on the hook of the hanger.
As an example attached an image of the article and an application of it on my tits.
Yours sincerely,


Continue Reading Re your review

Thanks My Lord…

After a not too long period of negotiation, he agreed. Available now from our insatiable Lord Sywwow.
And if you are a “tart”, as he always portrays us women, then this is completely free.|
(And yes… it was a great fuck while we were negotiating…)

Continue Reading Thanks My Lord…

Naked News

Two days ago I received a phone call from Victoria Sinclair, lead anchor of Naked News from the Naked Broadcasting Network.
They had heard of the riot around the photo that Kate Winslet presented as if it were her ass.
They offered me the opportunity to help the fairy tales out of the world on their network.
The condition was that as a guest presenter I would come fully naked and also show my delicious bottom.
This to prove that it is actually my ass in the offending photo.
Jane thought it was a great idea because I could promote the new BarbarElla movie at the same time.
Last night I rushed to the studio and did what they asked me to do.

Continue Reading Naked News


That kleptomaniac slut stole my photos from a soft SM session in France last year.
I showed all my glory and divine body and ass to the Playboy photographer with full conviction and he made a series that was outstanding.
The only one lying and taking advantage of me is that ugly pig Winslut.
She wishes she had a blissful bottom like mine.
I also don’t understand that my dearest Lord Sywwow is so deceived by an ordinary thief.
Kate Winslut … WAR is on …
And don’t you dare to steal pictures of my glory again.
Reporters of the SUN are always willing to post my stories.
A copy of this writing goes to my great friend Jane Fonda, who will ultimately ensure that you will not get any leading parts in any production for the time being.
Was signed…

Continue Reading WTF …


I wasn’t aware of the alert in London and all the shit that happened to the BarbarElla dolls until I hit the SYWWOW pages from my holiday location.
After snorkeling with Brad Pitt in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, I opened my laptop and discovered what had happened.
To cheer you up after all this misery, I hereby place a photo of my desirable divine body under water together with my fuck buddy for this evening.

Continue Reading Submerged

A Loon, a Toon and a Cat …

Although the article in the Sun about me, where I was portrayed as a loon (an evil witch who would have ruined everything) was corrected a day later, in the eyes of many readers I will remain that loon for a lifetime.
On top of all this, the article was also published on your respected website, which will make BarbarElla implausible in the eyes of many visitors.
I immediately put my copy of the Sun in the litter box so that my feline friend can piss and shit nicely over that bloody nonsense.
And then today I get to see a “loon toon” on your website and again I can’t help but get the impression that the posted “bad” sketch could be a toon image of me.
So again, my good name is being destroyed.
I would have preferred it if the “loon toon” was presented as follows:

Continue Reading A Loon, a Toon and a Cat …

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