My attention has been drawn to a popular DIY site where instructions can be found regarding home maintenance tasks.
To say I was livid was an understatement.
My ‘Twat Cooling Spray’ is most certainly not a ‘gap filling grab adhesive’. How dare they.
My product was a genuine attempt to help Tarts, Sluts & Whores cool off their cunts in a safe & convenient manner. Its unfortunate adhesive qualities were soon apparent which is why it’s now recommended by any self-respecting tit abuser to bond breasts beautifully. It is NOT for fixing skirting boards to walls.
Some time ago I was embroiled in something of a scandal which we need not go into here.
Dealing with several governments it was, of all people, The United States of America who came to my aid: “We do not supress freedom of speech in The United States of America”.
It transpires, I can do all sorts in PRINT which I can’t do elsewhere, such as on a website. My legal advisors tell me a pdf intended to be “printed out to enable studying for academic reasons” is classed as printed material.
Ergo, my pdf, “Women with Animals” is available here to download and PRINT for you to study for academic reasons
Note: The download will be refused in a number of countries
DO NOT DOWNLOAD THIS if you do not want to see women pictured, explicitly, with animals
I was trying to superglue a tart’s tits to a table when she brought me to my senses. Yes, how ridiculous of me – no gloves.
I can’t be trusted with superglue and I must wear disposable gloves and act with caution. The trouble is, when I’ve got some tits to play with, I get over excited and over exuberant. The tart was right to intervene.
Ladies, if you entrust your udders into my care it is incumbent upon you to ensure I don’t get carried away. I could have got glue on my trousers again or stuck myself to the table which would have been terrible.
Happily, it all worked out nicely and she was stuck to the table by her breasts whilst I did a load of stuff to her. She’s still there now but that’s a different story
As some of you tarts may know, I go the extra mile or kilometre to give you what you want, wish for or desire – providing you ask nicely and profusely use the word ‘please’.
I delight in delivering torment & torture to your delightful bodies regardless of any superficiality such as the size you may think you are – which is usually wrong.
I have at my disposal a vast range of accoutrements to aid me in this pursuit.
I am not averse to the web but most of what I use is adapted from existing items which illustrates my genius. I despise the lack of originality, thought and flair prevalent in all things today as the world, not me, drifts into obscurity.
For some time, I have underestimated a particular area: Tickling.
The torment of Tickling is sublime. Requiring restraint using my unique & secret Tart Ties I find excessive, incessant tickling results in mild exhaustion and involuntary peeing.
The humiliation of pissing yourself is quite exhilarating (for ME). Coupled with the fatigue you feel from being tickled until you reach the climax I require, render you far more pliable as regards the next stage: spanking.
I have always been an innovator leading the way whilst the mundane follow. For this reason, much of my adaptations remain a secret. With tickling, I basically use off the shelf dusters, and of course, my fingers.
I thought all you tarts could play chess to a high degree of proficiency.
I thought, maybe, a few of you would be unable, when I say ‘unable’ I mean only be very very very good as opposed to the, expected, supreme standard.
I thought wrong.
The Topless Chess idea of mine, which further illustrates my genius, is a great success.
However, my philosophy will not permit exclusion of any form so I have two initiatives.
The first is partnering, whereby a topless tart teams up with another topless tart, the second being a skilled advisor. As a team they will prove formidable.
The second idea is Monopoly. Yes, Topless Monopoly. The added twist of the nipple is we pay for real money via a conversion rate. There is a time limit on the game so as to avoid the main pitfall of Monopoly.
Regarding money: no-one is ever excluded from my life because of money or the lack thereof. With Monopoly I will discreetly supply whatever you need or desire.
I am now thinking of a third game – a simple quick one. This will then provide the necessary three games I now require as I always do things in threes.