Using my enormous intellect and outstanding genius I have outwitted those crazed loons at BTM (Big Tits Matter)
I gave the gold to the biggest trouble maker Beatrice which should keep her quiet, the big tart.
Notorious trouble-maker, Amazone, I awarded the silver. She whinged like fuck but I fed her a load of bollocks about the EU, the environment and saving whales. I told her it was for the good of all and to help save the planet. She bought it and accepted the Silver award like a great big-titted sucker.
Heidi, who can be trusted to shut her gob, took Bronze in return for something I did to her bottom which I needn’t mention here.
I doubt we’ll be hearing any more from Big Tits Matter – idiots.
Hey, “BTM” = Bonkers Tarts Moaning – ha ha and ha