The Sock War: New Front

Another Tart defeated by socks

My resistance to the tyranny of socks has entered a new, more deadly, phase.

Confronted by the much feared inside-out sock, I realised by meekly turning it the right way out I was kowtowing to the dictates of socks. This, I will never do.

Ergo, I disregard inside-out socks and wear them with gay aplomb.

Hold on a minute.

I’m back. On the right foot is a red sock with ‘Tuesday’ on it. Ha! It’s not Tuesday. On the other foot is a blue sock. I can’t read the day on that because it’s inside out.


Listen up you feeble twats, rise up against socks. Don’t let them rule your lives.

T Shirts – don’t get me started on those fuckers.

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The things girls do

Some time ago I was embroiled in something of a scandal which we need not go into here.

Dealing with several governments it was, of all people, The United States of America who came to my aid: “We do not supress freedom of speech in The United States of America”.

It transpires, I can do all sorts in PRINT which I can’t do elsewhere, such as on a website. My legal advisors tell me a pdf intended to be “printed out to enable studying for academic reasons” is classed as printed material.

Ergo, my pdf, “Women with Animals” is available here to download and PRINT for you to study for academic reasons

Note: The download will be refused in a number of countries

DO NOT DOWNLOAD THIS if you do not want to see women pictured, explicitly, with animals

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Sock War – No surrender

It has been brought to my attention that, on several occasions, I have been wearing matching socks.

This does not signal any lack of resistance to the tyranny of socks or victory on their part.

It is a mathematical certainty that, occasionally, randomly choosing socks to wear will result in a matching pair. If I were to realise this and choose another sock in order to maintain a mismatch this in itself would be a concession to socks and thus a defeat.

My refusal to be dictated to by socks is undiminished and I shall fight on to the bitter end where either socks or I are defeated forever and the World can move on to a sunlit future free from sock dictatorship.

Another victory for socks. People, rise up against socks: don’t let them rule over you
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Reasons to be Cheerful (part three)

I don’t go ‘round spanking tarts without good reason. If I were to do that, I would be a loon or very lucky.

No, I require a valid reason otherwise it’s a spanking no no.

Luckily, for you tarts, the reasons are plentiful and I’m not averse to just making stuff up.

Made up stuff is still valid. For instance, you “tried to communicate with a UFO in order to help them invade Earth”. Fucking Hell!, that’s bloody serious that is. If that doesn’t deserve a spanking: what does? What does I ask you. What does?

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