Teat Time Part Five

At the close of Teat Time Part Four our beloved hero Lord Sywwow had Beatrice, seemingly, at his mercy awaiting what pleasures he would deliver upon her ample bosoms.

The misfortunate pair of tarts, Lady Andrea & Miss Aileen S. had been abused most dreadfully and were left secured to chairs like torture victims – which in fact they were. A pitiful sight – fuck all to do with Sywwow incidentally: Beatrice did it.

Beatrice was set to test lovely Sywwow to see if he was any good at abusing tits or just a twat. She had set herself up as Judge, Jury, Executioner and biased court reporter working for the BBC who’ve always had it in for Sywwow since that SWAT business.

What is to become of Sywwow? Will he survive this ordeal by fiery teacher or will he learn his lesson?

Let’s find out in Teat Time Part Five.


I read all that shit she said about me in Teat Time Part Four and was most put out I must say.

I’d rather let the whole thing go but honour dictates I gain satisfaction. Plus, her plus-sized mammeries do tempt me so.
Not only that but this: Seldom does one encounter a tit owner who is so in want of tit abuse of the class I excel in.

I looked at Lady Andrea and Miss Aileen. Their tits were in a sorry state and they had both been subjected to terrible treatment & torment. Fuck all all to do with me, I was an only a concerned bystander helpless as Beatrice did things to them with some help from me.

Would you mind enormously if I were to give you a kiss, you being so beautiful?”, I said to Dame Beatrice.

She shrugged her shoulders so I kissed her with every sinew of passion I could muster which, I assure you, is overwhelmingly great.

As I released her from my tight embrace and from the attentions of my lips & tongue, she let out a sigh and looked at me as if to say; “What the fuck was that?”

I took the opportunity to flick her nipples before saying most politely; “May I secure you so as to access your breast with greater efficiency than otherwise?”

Yes”, she replied with a hint of irritation.

I produced my Tart Ties and explained their operation to Beatrice who was suitably impressed. I then secured her four limbs to the chair and asked her to try and release herself. She tried and tried – fruitlessly.
Satisfied she was now at my disposal I grabbed those huge & perfect breasts and subjected them to as much twisting fondling and fierce grabbing as one could imagine. I then gave each the hardest slap they’d ever had in their tit abuse curriculum.

Just for good measure, I slapped her face with more power than she had used on mine – that’s for certain.

Her response was to shake her glorious hair and throw back her cheeky face as if to laugh at me.

I looked at the pair of fucked up sluts who appeared to be quite enjoying the show. I took pity on them as I am such an all ’round excellent guy. I released Aileen and told her to do likewise with her mother.

I ordered the pair of lesbians to bathe together and attend to their injuries before going to bed and caress each other until I deigned to attend upon them.

Lady Andrea objected saying she wanted to witness my destruction of Beatrice. Such things are not for gentle ladies such as her & her lovely daughter. My silence was enough for her to take Aileen’s hand and waft off to their appointed tasks – she knows well it unwise to cause me to repeat an order.

Soon it was just Beatrice and I.

Soon it was just Beatrice and I
Continue Reading Teat Time Part Five

Teat Time Part Four

At the close of Part Three, our hero, Lord Sywwow, had found himself with Dame Beatrice at his mercy.

Putting herself in harm’s way seems to good to be true for the easily distracted notorious man.

As oft is the case in these matters, perhaps not all is how it appears.

Could this legend be like so many, if not all, men and prove to be merely gullible and easily led by the charms of a beautiful woman?

I had heard all about this Sywwow from Lady Andrea. I was most unimpressed with the tales of his flamboyant appearance, outrageous behaviour and high-handed treatment of ladies.

It came as no surprise to hear from Miss Aileen: he had abused her sweet breasts leaving her in pained distress.

Journeying home when I received Aileen’s call, I made a detour.

Prodding, squeezing & twisting her titties, as I always do, I discovered how sore, to her, they proved to be.

This Sywwow fellow was in the process of torturing & milking poor Lady Andrea with a vacuum cleaner he had repurposed for the task as I entered the kitchen.

Switching it off, I have to confess, his creation of a device capable of milking and torture impressed me. His adaptation of existing technology put me in mind of Apollo 13.

He struck me like a lightning strike – so, I struck him. It was a reaction: a panic

Tormenting the pair of sluts as is my wont, I tested & probed this Lord of hers. He did not intervene, even aiding me in my dalliances.

Who is this man?

Exposing myself I placed my breasts, my entire self, at his disposal.

I have been subjected to the likes of him before. My large breasts and padded bottom are well capable of coping with attention from the likes of him.

Let’s see if he is worthy of having me or, like all before, a weak fool.

Naked, at his pleasure, he must hurt me and make me cry or will prove to be just like all the rest.

Dame Beatrice: a woman to be reckoned with

In life we are sometimes tested.

Preparation & rehearsal is what we do to face these tests so we may prove, somehow, worthy.

We are sometimes oblivious as we undergo our greatest tests. These are the trials which take place without our knowledge or consent.

Such is the case now for Lord Sywwow who embarks on an examination of great significance unaware his trial had begun when Dame Beatrice chose to answer a call whilst driving – an occurrence singular in itself.

Could this be the end of our hero and the man beloved by all women who have been touched by his greatness?

We shall have to discover the answer to this, and other questions, when revealed to us all will be: Teat Time Part Five

Teat Time Part One

Teat Time Part Two

Teat Time Part Three

Teat Time Part Four

Teat Time Part Five


Continue Reading Teat Time Part Four

Teat Time Part Three

At the close of Teat Time Part Two Sywwow was tormenting poor Lady Andrea’s right nipple, to the extreme.

His outrageous treatment of her was brought to a halt by the sudden arrival of Beatrice – close friend of Lady Andrea S.

Accompanying her was Miss Aileen S. who, similarly, had suffered at the hands of this maniacal loon.

Could this be the comeuppance for our dashing hero?

What is in store for the charming, urbane & beautiful Sywwow?

Let’s find out in Part Three of Teat Time

When I turned and saw Beatrice, I thought my number was up. Lady Andrea had told me all about this sexually aggressive tart and her wide-ranging talents & abilities. Looking at her in real life, as opposed to smutty pictures I’d stole from Aileen’s phone, she looked more than a match for me.

Continue Reading Teat Time Part Three

Teat Time (Part Two)

When we left Part One, tit-abuser, Sywwow, was discovered with one of Aileen’s teats up a vacuum cleaner pipe by her mother Lady Andrea S.

Andrea, alarmed at this sight and the distress her daughter was in, switched off the vacuum and verbally assaulted poor Sywwow.

What will become of our gallant hero at the hands of mommy dearest?

Let’s find out now in the second instalment of Teat Time:

Poor Aillen has very sore udders thanks to Sywwow

Lady Andrea S. was annoyed to say the least and demanded I release the captive Aileen.

Fearing a punch on the nose or further rebuke I hastily let the slut go free.

Thinking a lie might help I said; “She made me do it”.

Andrea, now examining Aileen’s damaged udders, replied harshly: “She did not make you do it. You are a lying twat”.

What evidence did she have to state I’m a liar? None. What a cow.

They were both now stroking and examining the tortured teats. Andrea, pointlessly, was kissing them better. Viewing all this caused my erection to return with a vengeance.

They both then left for the bathroom to tend to the ailing Aileen whom, in my considered opinion, was making a mountain out of a mole hill. Albeit an inflamed and large mole hill

Whilst they were elsewhere, I thought if I looked innocent when angry tart returned it would lessen the retribution. Ergo, I sat down, got my phone and looked at Sywwow.com to see what I’d done in Part One. I could hear the vengeful footsteps of mommy so started to whistle because that’s what innocent twats do. I couldn’t think of a tune off-hand so it was just a series of random notes. When, she burst in I scratched the side of my head – my pièce de résistance de innocence.

She’s having to put ointment on her lovely udders, you maniac”; she shouted.

I put the phone down and slowly shook my head as if I had fuck all to do with the most excellent tit abuse since the last pair I fucked with.

Get your shirt off”, she shouted.

Great”, I thought, we’re going to have sex and I’ll fuck her cunt until I cum inside then make her scoop it out and eat it.

After several minutes of unseemly struggling and a couple of slaps to my face I was secured to the chair recently vacated by, lovely fuck doll, Aileen.

What happened next can only be described as uncalled-for and unnecessary abuse of my good self by a loon.

She proceeded to attach the vacuum pipe to my nipples each in turn.

I said stuff like; “ow, that hurts, stop it etcetera etcetera etcetera”.

Rather than any pain or suffering it was a mild irritation. When she switched the vacuum back on she had left it in the stupid eco mode (low power) and neglected to close the air valve on the nozzle. What a fucking idiot.

She forced the barely functioning vacuum on me with her right hand. Meanwhile, with her other hand, she was fiddling with my belt and flies with the presumed aim of exposing my penis. Fearing what may come next and dreading the possibility the thick slut may discover what the air valve was for, I went into panic mode.

I started to cry. Noticing this she said; “What’s the matter?”.

It hurts”, I said, faintly.

I then put on my sad eyes and glanced at her. Tarts always fall for my sad eyes.

She removed the pipe. Head bowed, I mumbled; “I’m so sorry”.

Lifting my head up with her hand to my chin she asked me to repeat what I’d said.

I looked straight into her lovely eyes and, with tears in mine, softly said: “I’m so very sorry for what I did to Aileen. It was terrible. I don’t deserve you”.

Relenting, she dropped the hose and kissed me. Soon, she was releasing me from the chair. What a complete and total sucker.

Soon it was her held in my adapted captive chair which had previously had me in its grip and, before me, the helpless Aileen.

Andrea was back in angry mode struggling and saying the most awful things to me. I felt it unnecessary to resort to violence as it was only words but I slapped her around the face a few times anyway.

During my expert securing of the stupid whore I’d left her fully clothed. I soon ripped the blouse open but was then confounded by a bra. I cut it away with scissors. She was now whingeing about how expensive the blouse was so I stuffed the bra in her gob for some peace and quiet.

The vac was soon in full power mode and the valve sealed.

Now, Andrea has the most spectacular nipples in existence. They protrude must beautifully, especially when stimulated. They seemed to be inches long when subjected to the vacuum.

The most spectacular nipples in existence. Would Sywwow harm such a lovely pair?


For comparative purposes I decided to concentrate on her right nipple only and fixed the pipe on it. I watched, transfixed, as the teat was pulled into the pipe. She was looking away so I forced her head ‘round so she could experience the tit show.

Purely by accident I found, with the pipe removed, the angled hose attachment was an absolute perfect fit on her breast thanks to their shape and the design of the nozzle.

The hose simply clamped itself to her and, un-aided, refused to budge. The pipe was vibrating from the lack of air flow and the engine was making a right racket. This was an air-tight fit.

I had to use considerable strength to get the nozzle off her.

Her entire breast was red and purple. Her nipple was swollen and deformed to a much worse degree that Aileen’s were. Prodding her udder induced wincing and whimpering. Slapping her tit caused her to scream. (I slapped them repeatedly).

Lovely Lady Andrea S. has a very sore breast. Would Sywwow really force her to swallow his spunk whilst she’s in such a state?

I thought the best thing to do, given the circumstances, was to fuck her mouth. Discarding the hose, I held her head and fucked her mouth with gusto. At no time did I exit her wet sloppy hole as it filled with saliva and pre-cum. I thrust into her trying to choke her with my cock. She was struggling to consume the fluids or let them escape by opening her gob wide.

As I started to cum, I held her head as close as possible so the spunk went straight into her throat. I continued holding her until sure she’d swallowed all my sperm. She made wonderful gulping and gagging sounds as it went down – the filthy cum bucket.

I wiped my wet cock on her face. She then burped – what a pleasing cum whore.

After giving her my gift of seed, I reattached the nozzle delighting in the pain it was giving her.

Left in place the self-attaching hose did its torturous work allowing me to take photos of my handiwork.

I then realised I wanted to go pee pee.

It would be irresponsible to leave her unattended with the hose in full suck mode attached to her injured mammary gland. I’m not irresponsible so I stood on the kitchen table and pissed all over her – the dirty cow.

Suddenly the vac was off, the hose fell away revealing a horribly swollen breast.

In the doorway was Beatrice and Aileen.

What the bloody hell do you think you’re doing?” Shouted Beatrice.

Oh Dear.

The crazed nutter Sywwow has harmed Aileen’s udders and seriously hurt Andrea’s tits.

Beatrice has turned up to rescue her lesbian fuck buddy and is in no mood to be messed about with.

Beatrice, a teacher, is likely to use discipline against our hero or even give him detention in the library.

What will become of poor Sywwow? There’s three of them and only one of him. This is a terrible situation for the dear lover and poet.

The mind runs riot in fear and dread of what could happen to the man who invented Topless Chess and has contributed so much to the world.

Is Sywwow’s reign of chaos at an end?

We shall have to wait and see in Part Three of Teat Time.

Continue Reading Teat Time (Part Two)

Teat Time (Part One)


Have you seen the cost of milking machines? You’d have to be a farmer to bloody well afford one.

Not to be outdone, I ordered a length of 35m Perspex pipe (cut & chamfered to length) and a –redacted– vacuum cleaner with an adjustable air flow valve. I also bought the 10metre hose as opposed to the 3metre standard.

I duly rigged all this up and summoned Miss Aileen S., to the kitchen where I had laid out the chess board. She loves playing chess so was soon topless and sat ready to play the white pieces. I never play the white pieces. White pieces are for tarts and faggots.

By sitting in this particular chair, she had sat straight into my trap and was soon fixed in place. The cheek tart was smiling as if she knew all along. There’s no way she could have spotted those cuffs and ankle restraints I’d fitted to my ‘special kitchen chair’ unless she looked.

Have you bought a milking machine?”, she asked.

How the fuck does she do that?

Suck those tits

No”, I lied whilst still, somehow, telling the truth.

I then proceeded to get the pipe with its adjustable nozzle and perspex pipe attachment. I switched on the vacuum and closed the door as much as I could leaving the noisy contraption out of earshot thank to my 10metre hose: I’m a fucking genius and I’ve thought of everything.

I began by sucking her arms and back – I don’t know why; it seemed the polite thing to do.

She was saying “Ow, arrggh, stop it” and stuff like that but I was distracted by all the weird noises coming from the tube as it made contact with her skin. It left red marks behind. It had a bruising effect if left in place for a time.

Even whilst occupying myself with her body my attention was fixed on her perfect breasts.

I decided to kiss and suck her nipples and did so. Realising I had a job to do, I stopped suckling on her magnificent udders and squeezed and squashed her them until she was begging me to stop because ‘it hurts’.

I did stop, but only after twisting them 180 degrees – I like doing that.

I placed the pipe close to her nipple and she looked down, terrified. I held it there for a while taunting her. She knew from its effect on her arms there was a great deal of suction power at my disposal.

I adjusted the air flow to lessen the suction and then, without warning, rammed it on her nipple. She, of course, was moaning and whingeing – after all the trouble & planning I’d gone to you’d think she’d be more appreciative

Thanks to the Perspex pipe you could see her nipple being pulled in and distorted – it looked great. Even she was transfixed by the sight.

Pull the Udder One

I pulled the pipe away and her boob attempted to follow being pulled and stretched until the pipe broke free and the udder was released.

I briefly sucked and released the breast a number of times but soon returned to the best part: the nipple. I ramped the vacuum up to maximum and we both witnessed the bizarre effects it had on her teat distorting and misshaping it. I simulated a pumping effect by messing with the valve, all the time her mammary glands were held by the force of air.

The noise coming from the tube was both alarming and entertaining for both of us. Although she was in some pain it was more discomfort than agony.

When I relented and put the unit on her other udder the first nipple was sore, red and three times its normal size. When I pinched and pulled it, she let out a scream, such was the painful swelling.

This was proving a great success.

I reasoned I would have to think up a way of collecting milk if it was available – perhaps with another slut. Lactation can be induced through chemical means but I don’t think that’s advisable. I made a note to enquire anyway.

I released nipple number two so we could both admire my handiwork and, as before, it was misshapen, purple and swollen. The relentless high-powered suction was the cause of this and I was thinking of changing to the 3metre hose to enable even more power on her.

I think, if you have udders perfectly suited to be abused, you should happily surrender to this fate. My ‘milking’ them is a perfectly natural occurrence considering that’s what they’re meant for. Being a man, a mechanised method seems an ideal solution whilst women, I know, prefer to hand milk their cows.

I re-fixed the pipe to nipple number one and, by now sporting a massive erection, I was figuring out how to fuck her in the mouth whilst keeping everything in situ. I knew she’d like me to make love to her gob and it would take her mind of the soreness – I’m so considerate.

At this moment the door was opened and the noise of the vacuum made me turn towards it. There in the doorway was Lady Andrea S., “What the hell do you think you’re doing with my daughter…”

Oh Dear.

No tart would dare take on the maniacal Lord Sywwow but look at how pissed off she is.

She’s come home and found the crazy twat trying to force milk out of her daughter’s udders using a vacuum cleaner – albeit an expertly adapted one.

Could this be the end of Lord Sywwow’s reign of chaos?

What could she do to the poor defenceless Sywwow who was only trying to bring joy to the world?

Find out in the next thrilling instalment of Teat Time

Teat Time Part One

Teat Time Part Two

Teat Time Part Three

Teat Time Part Four

Teat Time Part Five

Continue Reading Teat Time (Part One)

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